When Bill, a 38 year-old man, walked into my office, I thought I was standing before a fully armored medieval warrior. His chest felt metallic and his left ear energetically closed. He was sent to me by a female colleague who felt that Bill should work with a man. Bill was in the process of divorce and had a child. He did not want to divorce but did not know how to repair the marriage. He was prescribed an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety to help him cope with the stress of daily life and divorce.
Bill grew up with a father who was extremely confrontational and a mother who was very passive and did not offer comfort and contact. Although his face was soft and round, Bill had piercing eyes and was loud. His presence was intense and overpowering. He sadly admitted that his son was afraid of him because of the many arguments and fights with his wife. I got a sense that Bill never really learned how to listen. As a defense he shut down one side of his hearing to avoid the pain of being yelled at and humiliated as a child. He was very intelligent, loved to talk, and always wanted to be right. All this emotional roller coaster had his family doctor worried about Bill’s blood pressure and overall physical health.
I felt that the energetic warrior suit needed to come off and his left ear needed to open. Bill needed to stop seeing life as a battlefield and begin to listen to other people’s views. His chest needed to soften and open up to gentle communication and touch. Removing the energetic armor was not easy for Bill; he was scared to live without it. Without the armor he felt naked, vulnerable, and defenseless. As a young boy, he developed the armor and shut one ear to survive his childhood.
Over a four-month period we peeled away the armor slowly and gently. With each layer of removed armor, Bill would feel a great relief and begin to breathe deeply. Beneath the armor was a sweet man who wanted contact, validation and acknowledgement.
His heart was slowly opening and he was feeling remorseful about some of his actions. His crying reflex was opening up and he was remaining quiet and listening with more attention and focus. His divorce could not be avoided because of the many years of miscommunication and pain, but his relationship with his son was improving. Bill’s son was no longer scared of his father and in fact wanted to see him more often.
Children build armors to protect their hearts. They built the armor because it was necessary and giving it up is terrifying. Through energy healing and non-judgmental patience, we can help patients remove these armors and make peace with their wounded hearts. Bill’s journey is easier now. His energy feels peaceful and still, and his relating to others more good-natured and heart based. What is important is that Bill will not wound his child the way he was wounded. He will listen and validate the emotions and experiences of his son from the softness of his healing heart.